Chapter 9 Retiring From Self Care

This is the last chapter of our bible study. I want to start by thanking everyone who has followed along with us. This study was so much different than our last study and although it hasn’t been our favorite we have been able to take a few things away from it that will help us on our journey of becoming less anxious.

Meyer ends this study sharing how we need to be less independent when it comes to our relationship with God. ‘The root problem of independence is trusting ourselves more than we trust God.’ God wants us to trust Him in all areas of our life. But we want it done our way in our time, that’s just how we are. We need to stop being such control freaks and trust God and his timing.

Our High Lights:

What we fail to realize is, God has a plan for us too- and His plan is much better than ours.’

Our Plan Versus God’s Plan

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Jeremiah 29:11

I believe it is wise to plan our work and work our plan. But we must not become so rooted and grounded in our plan that we argue and resist if God tries to show us a better way.’

I think that is the hardest part in life. I have big plans and big dreams that I will pray about and I will tell Him exactly how it should be done. Lol like who do I think I am? 😬

Jesus Was Not Independent

We should realize that anything we do independently, apart from God, will fail to bear any good fruit either for Him or for us.’

She goes on to explain that a lot of us don’t like to have anyone help us. We think we should take care of things ourselves for it to be done right. How many of us know people like that? πŸ™‹πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ I am totally not like that, I know for it to be done the right way then someone else better do it. πŸ˜‚

Overcoming A Spirit Of Independence

‘God expects us to walk by wisdom, but He also expects us to be aware of and care about what we are doing.’

‘If we want to do the will of God, we must be willing to get involved with people.’

A Broken Wall

‘The more we depend on God, the more He can do through us. But sometimes we go through a brokenness before we enter into blessings.’

‘When an avenue in our life is blocked, before we start trying to kick down the door, we need to back off and consult the Lord.’

‘Sometimes God has to block one avenue so we will be open to follow another.’

Trust The God of Justice

‘Do you know what God means when He says He is the God of Justice? He means that sooner or later He will make everything right.’

‘As Christians, it is not our job to seek vengeance, but to pray for our enemies, for those who mistreat is, abuse us, and take advantage of us. If we will do that, God has promised to take care of us.’



Chapter 8 This Too Shall Pass

This chapter was totally meant for me, as I’m currently going through a period of change. Change isn’t always a bad thing. Things change and it’s time to move on. I feel like some changes are exciting….like moving to a different state, buying a new house, taking a new job, or cutting your hair off! But it’s the life changing, painful changes that are hard to go through.

This Chapter reassured me that this too shall pass. We all go through seasons in our lives. We may have a bad season which helps prepare us for our good season. Let’s face it, if we only had good seasons we would think highly of ourselves and become prideful. It’s good to go through bad times because that’s when God humbles us and transforms us.

Here are Elena and my highlights for Chapter 8:

‘In this life whatever exists now, or will exist in the future, is not permanent, but temporary.’

and it shall come to pass… Genesis 4:14 KJV

‘God wants us to enjoy all of life-not just it’s destination, but also the trip itself.’

‘Since we are going to spend our entire lives waiting for something, we should learn to enjoy life as it unfolds. If we don’t, life will pass us up and we will never enjoy where we are right now.’

‘We have to realize everything we are going through at the moment will one day pass and we will enjoy the fruit of our labor.’

‘These trying times help us get more deeply rooted in God. They work humility in us and cause us to be very thankful when the blessings come.’

‘God doesn’t always change those people we want Him to change; instead He often uses them to change us.’

Meyer explains that the devil offers us two lies.

1) The forever lie– that negative things in our life will be that way forever.

2) The never lie– that if the positive things ever do change, we couldn’t stand it.

The truth is that sooner or later everything changes. We have to put our trust in Him because bad things don’t last forever, they often lead into way better things.

There is a reason that Elena and I live by the words ‘it is what it is‘! Things change, people change, surroundings change. It is what it is because we know that God doesn’t change and our hope is in Him. God is good!



Chapter 7 Cast your care, not your responsibility

I struggle not living with guilt and condemnation. I am just one of those people who doesn’t like to follow rules, love pushing my limits, and living life on the edge. It’s just who I am, ok! πŸ€— The only problem with that is that everyone else has a problem with it. Over the years people love to point out my mistakes and tell me who and how I should be. Which then makes me feel guilty and causes me to overthink everything.

In this Chapter Meyer talks about casting our care upon Him. She explains that casting is a violent word which means to throw, hurl, arise, send, and drive out. So we need to get spiritually violent. Some of that violence is expressed in our ‘absolute refusal to live any longer under guilt and condemnation, which can actually be worry about past mistakes.’

Some of us want to change people by making them feel guilty for their mistakes or choices. Here is what Meyer has to say about that…

‘People can NOT change people. Only God can change people.

‘It’s the Holy Spirits job to bring conviction to sinners

It’s not my job and it’s not your job to make people feel guilty. So let’s stop trying to change people and let God do His work in us and in others.

We spend too much time worrying over situations in our lives and not enough time praying for God’s will to be done in our life. What we want or how we think the situation should go isn’t always what God wants for us. I know when I worry and have all these life problems thrown at me I become a monster. I just have to fix it and I drive myself crazy over all the different ways I can try to get it worked out. I know personally I need to do a better job at resting in God’s word and completely handing it over to Him. I need to praise Him in the good and bad times. I have three girls who are watching the way I handle hard times. I know I need to set the example of how I trust in Him during the storms of life.

‘Biggest problem for most Christians is their inability to distinguish between God’s will and personal ambition.’

‘ The Bible teaches we are not to give in to such “evil tendencies” (James4:6), but rather to continue to bear fruit, giving thanks and praise to God even in the midst of negative circumstances.’

‘It’s our responsibility to cast our care upon the Lord, trusting Him, praying without worrying, continue in obedience, bear good fruit, and offering Him the sacrifice of praise.’




Chapter 6- He Careth for You

In this chapter Meyer is looking again at Psalm 91:1,2. She explains that there are three aspects that determine our ability to receive God’s richest blessings. First we must dwell in Him, second we must dwell in the secret place, and third we must remain under the shadow of the Almighty.

1- Dwell means to remain; to settle

John 15:4 Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you.

2- Dwell in the secret place of the Most High meaning a place of protection. Kept safe from our enemies. (Haters is the word I use πŸ˜‚)

3- Remain under the shadow of the Almighty. Meaning we must make the Lord our Refuge and our Fortress.

*Leaning and relying on Him

*Confidently trusting in Him

She goes on to talk about prayer how it produces peace, rest, patience and hope.

Do not worry and be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and petition. And God’s peace will guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6,7)

‘If we are truly believing God and trusting the Lord, we have entered into his rest. We have prayed and cast our care upon Him and are now abiding in the perfect peace of His holy presence.’

Romans 5:2-4 And we boast in hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our suffering , because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

The last part really spoke to me because she explains the importance of suffering in silence. It’s really hard not to want to run to your best friend or close friends to talk about your trials. It’s like we want help to figure out how to handle these problems or build an army against these problems. But Meyer tells us ‘stop running to people and start turning to God. To pray to Him and cast my care upon Him- in secret. There is a time to share what we are going through, and a there is a time to keep things between us and God.’

We tend to spend so much time talking and worrying about our problems that the work never gets accomplished. When we keep things to ourselves and pray about it, God will work things out for the good. ‘But we serve a God Who is so good He can take a bad thing and actually work good in us from it.’ πŸ™ŒπŸ»

With all the social media out there we really need to work on this my friends. We tend to want to air all our dirty laundry out there for the internet world to see. Once it’s out there, it’s out there forever. People don’t need to know your trails, these same people that see it could also be your haters. Then good really won’t come out of your trials.

‘As a body of Christ, we are supposed to seek God, not the answers to our problems. If we will seek Him and His righteousness, He has promised to provide all the answers we need’

So let’s stop sharing all our life problems and let’s start praying. Then you can one day share the amazing things God has worked out in your life.



Chapter 5: The Warfare of Rest

I’m no doubt a worrier. I overthink everything enough on my own, but my husband often makes it worse. He’s a scenario person. He has to run through all of the different scenarios of every big situation. This would all be fine except for the fact that he does it out loud, with me! To me this is torture. It just feeds into my anxiety to the point that I am in a state of total unease. He on the other hand is just fine because it’s his way of thinking things through, and then he just goes on about his usual business.

I could totally relate in this chapter when Joyce talks about she and her husband disagreeing about stuff and just realizing they are 2 different types of people. Here’s the thing, its ok! It’s ok for us to be different, it’s ok for us to need to process things in our own way, as long as we remember who’s actually in control.
“As much as we would like to know God’s plan and ways for us, all we really need to know is that His presence will be with us wherever He sends us and in whatever He gives us to do.”

I need to learn to rest in Him. I get ahead of myself and the situation at hand. Something that could turn into nothing, has already created chaos in my head and in turn my body. Sometimes I put so much energy into worrying about something and I think there’s no way around this mountain. At some point in the midst of all my worrying I realize the situation figured itself out and my worry was useless, the mountain has been moved. I’m sure I’m not the only one who does this right? “When we get upset about unimportant things, we throw open the door for the devil. We give him an opportunity to come in and wreak havoc. Often it is really not the devil’s fault, it is ours.” I’m so guilty of this, my front door is basically wide open with a welcome sign!

And then there’s the big life altering situations. We are in so much distress when we go through them that we cannot imagine what life will look like on the other side. If we aren’t in enough turmoil on our own, people come out of the woodwork to devastate us even more. It was funny reading this chapter because my husband and I have talked about this so much the past year. My whole life when I am in times of distress I have more friends then I ever realized. It’s certainly kind and I’m grateful to have people when I need them, but where are these friends when my life is good? When there’s no chaos or devastation. Why aren’t they there then, checking in, celebrating the good?
“The devil does not want us to think we can relax, rest, and enjoy life while we are having problems. He wants us to think we have to be up and running around doing something…..He will send our most closest friends and most trusted family members to say ‘I heard about your problem; what’re you going to do?’ In times of adversity, it may seem that everyone we meet wants to know what we are going to do.”
This is the time when we need to rest in Him the most. At some point the day comes where we look back and realize we made it out the other side. I can think of so many times in my life when I felt as if it could never get better or I could never get through the situation at hand. Or life will never be the same and why was God allowing this to happen to me. But I now realize at those moments I let the devil in my head and here I am on the other side of all those incredibly hard situations.

It reminds me of my favorite poem Footprints:
‘My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.’



Chapter 4- The Arm of the Lord

In this Chapter the author explains the arm of the Lord is based on the covenant of grace, which depends upon faith. She believes that in order to be filled with His Spirit and be pleasing to Him, we must be willing, yielded and empty. Willing for God to use us as he sees fit. Willing to follow his plan rather than our own. We must be empty of ourselves.

Here are our Highlights and take away’s:

“If you and I are going to enjoy the fullness of God in our lives, we must go through periods in which we have to stand alone. Sometimes that is good for us because we get too caught up with people. Sometimes we must be left with nobody so we will learn to depend solely upon the Lord.”

*It’s good to know that through loneliness, you can grow in your relationship with Him.

“God does not want us to be a clone of somebody else. He wants us to be unique and creative. He wants us to operate by His Spirit.”

*We shouldn’t become like anyone else. This is a good reminder for me to be careful who I surround myself with. Your closest friends should hold the same beliefs and values as you.

I love how she uses the example of birds. That most birds fly in flocks, but eagles fly alone. “If we want to be an eagle, we must learn to fly alone.”

Romans 8:31 If God is for us, who can be against us?

“Whatever may have happened to us in the past, it does not have to dictate our future.”

*People live, learn, and grow from their past. God can use anyone no matter how bad their past was.

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

“We need to learn to live one day at a time, being content where we are and with what we have until the Lord leads us to something better.”

Philippians 1:6 He who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ, developing and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

“It remains to be seen what God can do through man or woman who will give Him all the glory.”

*In all we do and accomplish, give God the glory!

“Rather than looking at our past failures, our present fallacies, or our future fears, we should be looking to the Lord and trusting in His wisdom, strength, and power.”

“People will disappoint us, and we will end up devastated, but God will never fail us or forsake us.”

“We should love people, but trust God.”

I have been through this a lot and I know others have. We have groups of friends or a friend and feelings get hurt, people change, or with time you’ll grow apart. As hard as it is to go through, you’ll find yourself in the better for going through it. Not everyone that comes into your life will be good for you and you won’t always be good for them. Its healthy to have periods in your life where you are alone so you can examine yourself and see what areas you need to work on in your life.
For me personally I need someone who likes me for me, that knows who they are as an individual and isn’t trying to compete with me. It’s not healthy for you or the other person when you’re constantly trying to one up each other and make everything a competition. I don’t have time that for that mess. lol
I have made a lot of mistakes in my past. I haven’t always been the best wife, friend, mother, sister, or daughter. Because of my actions I have gained myself quite the reputation. But I can’t let what others think of me bother me because I know that my past doesn’t define me.
Elena and I didn’t like each other at all at first. If we hadn’t given each other a second chance we would have missed out on this beautiful friendship that has formed. Have I disappointed her? YES. Has she disappointed me? YES. Are we worried about starting this new adventure together? YES. But does it paralyze us? NO. This chapter helped us to see that no matter what happens that God is in control and he will work every detail out. Our hope and trust is in Him.

It is what it is, right Elena?!



Spring Break-Movie Day

Oh my goodness this movie was so good!! If you haven’t seen I Can Only Imagine yet you need to go ASAP. We decided to take the kids for discount movie day and make a day of it with Chick-fil-A lunch after. The kids did so good and sat through the entire movie without complaining….and not even one bathroom break!! Luckily I had 2 mini tissue packs in my purse because the tears came hard!! My poor son sandwiched in between 7 crying females 😭😭😭 We were certainly quite a site afterwards.

Grab your tissues and go see this movie. You will not be disappointed!

~Elena……oh and Erin πŸ€—


Chapter 3- The Arm of the Flesh

I am not going to even lie to y’all this was a tough Chapter for Elena and I both. We met this morning to go through this chapter and she highly disagree’s with most of it, to say the least. I honestly agreed with her but I like to play devils advocate and boy was I ruffling her feathers. Lol.
The author talks a lot about waiting on God and listening for God to work things out in your life. That we really waste too much time worrying and forcing things to happen. “We must be willing to follow his plans rather than our own. To be pleasing to God, we must give up all our human efforts to build ourselves, our ministries, and our careers and allow the Lord to build them for us according to His will and plan for us.”
Elena made a very valid point by saying you won’t get anywhere in life without hard work and applying yourself. As much as the chapter sounds that way, I honestly don’t think that’s how she meant it. So the best way for me personally to understand it is by breaking it down to simply praying for everything and trusting he will work every detail out through the work we put forth. Recognizing that God has given us the talents and treasures we have.
Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

Take away’s from Chapter 3

John 3:6 What is born of the flesh is flesh: and what is born of the Spirit is spirit.

John 6:63 It is the Spirit Who gives life; the flesh conveys not benefit whatever.

“We are justified not by our works or our righteousness, but by our faith and confidence in Christ.”

Ephesians 2:8 Just as we are saved by grace through faith, and not by works of the flesh.

So bottom line I am praying for my future, trusting in God, and have faith He will bless me beyond measure. It might not be the exact way that I had planned or hoped for but it will be perfect because of Him.

Next week in Chapter 4 (The Arm of the Lord) we will be learning about Grace.



Bible Study- Chapter 2: It’s okay to Lighten up!

After reading this chapter I quickly realized that Elena might not be the only one who needs to lighten up! Anyone who knows me, knows that I can be very laid back. But the one’s who really know me also know I can lose my cool in two seconds flat. I say that I am a passionate person while others think I have an attitude problem.
I notice myself losing my joy when I am trying to get myself and three girls ready in the morning to get them to school on time (which happens once in a blue moon). It doesn’t matter what time we get up to get ready one of those girls can’t find something they haven’t even really looked for as we are walking out the door! UGH!
Or when I have plans with someone and they cancel last minute because they forgot they had a meeting. The nerve of people, I mean really! lol
And I can’t even tell you the anxiety that comes when I have to have a conversation with someone that I’ve hurt or overstepped and said too much with. My stomach is in knots for days. So maybe, just maybe I’ve learned something from this chapter.

So here are my Chapter 2 take away’s-

1) God likes a peaceful spirit that is not anxious or wrought up.
(1 Peter 3:4)

*Wrought up- agitated,tense,stressed,and edgy
Anxious- worried,disquieted,and distracted

2) This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.
(Psalm 118:24)

“Learning to enjoy life even in the midst of trying circumstances is one way we develop spiritual maturity”

3) God wants us to learn to be “now people.” (Hebrews 4:7-9)

Matthew 6:34 do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own.

So Elena the next time we have all six of our kids out shopping and they are running around acting crazy remember to lighten up my friend!! Just relax and find that joy!



Bible Study- Chapter 1: Jesus and Peace

When we were out shopping for this new Study this book really hit home for us. We are both pretty anxious people to begin with and starting this blog together brought on even more anxiety. So we figured this Study would be really helpful now more than ever.

After reviewing Chapter 1 together we both have similar opinions on this new study. This book is definitely laid out much different from what we’ve done in the past, so that’s going to take some getting used to. I also struggled a bit when I started the questions in the back because I felt there were a whole bunch of readings to review all at one time. Once I read through and got to the questions I wasn’t able to remember which reading said what. So I’m thinking going forward I’ll focus on reading them more for content and less for trying to remember things word for word.

Chapter one is pretty brief and a good introduction to what’s ahead. The 2 biggest things I take from it thus far are:

1. God doesn’t say we will lead a trouble free life


2. Believing and trusting is what really gets us through the difficult times and anxiousness

Next week Chapter 2: It’s OK to Lighten Up!

To be honest I’m sure Erin will have something snarky to say about me benefiting from this next chapter! 😜